While I Wait…


So here I am, two days before my guess date with my Quincey Nox.

This part of pregnancy is always really hard on me since I was pregnant with Audrey. It was especially hard with Zachary.

Being a VBA2C mama, I always tend to think, “If I’d just had a scheduled c-section I’d have a 5 day old baby right now.” This was especially true with Zachary, when he was 21 days late.

There is nothing wrong with deciding to have a repeat c-section instead of a VBAC, that’s not what this post is about.

But mentally I’m pretty exhausted with this whole pregnant thing. I’m jealous of those who don’t have to hit their due date. I’m jealous of all the sweet mama’s hold their newborns that I see on my Facebook feed. So I decided to come up with a list of why it’s better for me to wait this out.

  1. I really like my provider this time. She’s a naturopath doctor, and she’s really amazing. In order to get this baby out right now I’d have to switch providers, and I really don’t want to do that.
  2. Yup, I wake up to pee every few hours in the middle of the night. Making sound effects as I roll out of bed. And then I’m thirsty, so I go downstairs and drink water. You know, so I can pee again in a few hours. And while this cycle sucks. At least I am capable of getting out of the bed without being in intense pain from a c-section incision.
  3. Ruby wants to be held often. I can still (kind of) easily hold her. This absolutely wouldn’t be possible if I was recovering from a c-section.
  4. Zachary and Ruby’s skin? Pretty much perfect with no signs of eczema. I contribute this to a vaginal birth, delayed first bath, and breastfeeding. All things I wasn’t able to do for my c-section babies.
  5. It’s allergy season and I can sneeze without feeling like I’m going to die.
  6. I can also cry when hormones get the better of me.
  7. Quincey isn’t here because he’s not ready. Plain and simple. When Zachary was born we realized that if I’d had a repeat c-section like my OB recommended, he would have been born 4 weeks earlier. Zachary was born at 43 weeks weighing 7lbs 9oz. He would not have done well being born the month before.
  8. Despite my jealousy, I am really very thankful for my body. It has safely and successfully grown 5 people. FIVE. It protects them, it nourishes them, and it keeps them in there FOREVER. I am blessed with weeks. Which is much better than the alternative.
  9. Relearning how to pee is seriously stressful. And panic inducing. And just flat out sucks.
  10. Major abdominal surgery is just not for me. I don’t do well with it. My babies don’t do well with it. So I am grateful for those amazing midwives in 2012 who took a chance on me and allowed me to let my body do what it knew how to do. And I am beyond grateful that I have the option and ability to VBA2C, successfully and safely.
  11. I’m just now starting to regain some of the feeling in my c-section scar. It no longer has phantom pains or itches. It is finally starting to lose the pins and needles feeling if I poke it. I don’t want to start that process all over again if it’s not a medical emergency 😉

Good things come to those who wait. Quincey’s gonna be great. I’m not a patient person, but somehow I’m pretty good at waiting for people to show up like they say they will. So, baby Q, I’m waiting for you!

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